My Blog

Have you ever said, “That’s just who I am”? Maybe you’re someone who gets angry quickly. Maybe you don’t trust people easily. Maybe you like being in control. Maybe you never ask for help. Maybe you always have to be the strong one. Maybe you use humour when things get uncomfortable, or you keep yourself busy so you don’t have to think too much. We often describe these things as personality traits. “That’s just me.” “I’ve always been like this.” “I don’t need anyone.” “I’m ju

People often ask me one question. “What made you stop?” It’s an understandable question. But over the last 16 years of working in addiction, alongside my own journey in recovery, I’ve realised there’s a far more important question. “What was the addiction doing for you?” Because addiction is rarely about the substance. It’s about what the substance, behaviour, or compulsive habit allows you to escape from. For years, I believed alcohol and drugs were my problem. I eventually

Trauma bonding has become one of those terms that seems to be everywhere. Spend five minutes on social media and you’ll probably hear someone say: “We trauma bonded.” Usually, what they mean is that they went through something difficult together and it brought them closer. Whilst that can create a deep connection, that isn’t trauma bonding. It’s a shared traumatic experience. Trauma bonding is something very different. And understanding the difference could change the way you

When people hear the word trauma, they often think of one big event. War. Violence. Abuse. Disaster. And whilst trauma can absolutely come from these experiences, trauma is often much quieter than people realise. Sometimes trauma looks like growing up in a home where you never knew what mood someone would be in. Sometimes it looks like never feeling safe enough to be yourself. Sometimes it looks like years of bullying, criticism, rejection, neglect, or simply not getting what

Some people become caring because they were cared for. Others become caring because they know what it feels like not to be. That hits deeper than most people realise. Because a lot of who we become in adulthood is shaped by what was missing in childhood. Not just what happened to us. But what didn’t happen. The love we didn’t receive. The safety we didn’t feel. The understanding we needed but never got. So we grow into the very thing we were searching for. The Child Who Was N

There’s a lot of noise right now about men. What they should be. How they should act. What they’re doing wrong. And recently, with things like the Louis Theroux: The Manosphere , that conversation has gone even more mainstream. You’ve got a growing online world of ultra-masculine influencers telling men how to live, how to think, how to be “alpha”. And a lot of people are asking the same question: Why are so many men drawn to it? Let’s Be Honest About What It Offers Before cr