The Inner Critic: Understanding the Voice I Call “The Shitty Committee”

If you’ve ever felt like there’s a voice in your head constantly judging you, criticising you, or telling you you’re not good enough, you’re not alone.

In therapy, I often talk about this part of us as “The Shitty Committee”,  that inner panel of voices that loves to remind you of your mistakes, your fears, and your insecurities.

It doesn’t matter how much progress you make…

The Shitty Committee always has something to say.

But here’s the truth:

This voice isn’t the real you.

It’s a protective strategy you learned along the way, and once you understand it, you can learn how to quiet it.

Where the Inner Critic Comes From

Your inner critic didn’t appear out of nowhere. It was shaped by the environments you grew up in and the experiences that taught you who you needed to be in order to survive.

Common origins include:

   •   Childhood criticism: Growing up with adults who were demanding, unpredictable, perfectionistic, or hard to please.

   •   Emotional neglect: Learning that your feelings weren’t welcome, so you internalised that you were “too much.”

   •   Trauma: Especially when you were made to feel responsible, at fault, or powerless.

   •   Comparison and shame: Early messages that you weren’t enough smart enough, strong enough, good enough.

   •   School or social pressures: Bullying, embarrassment, or experiences of not fitting in.

The inner critic isn’t born it’s built.

And it’s usually built at a time when you had no power to challenge it.

What the Inner Critic Sounds Like

The Shitty Committee loves to sound like “truth,” but it’s not.

It’s a voice of fear, shame, and old conditioning.

Common phrases include:

   •   “You’re not good enough.”

   •   “You’re going to fail.”

   •   “Why did you even try?”

   •   “People will leave if they really know you.”

   •   “You always mess things up.”

   •   “You’re too much.”

   •   “You’re not doing enough.”

Even though it feels like your voice, it’s not aligned with your values, your potential, or your real self.

How the Inner Critic Impacts Your Life

Left unchecked, the Shitty Committee influences your decisions, relationships, and emotional wellbeing.

It can lead to:

   •   People-pleasing

   •   Procrastination and self-sabotage

   •   Staying in unhealthy relationships

   •   Addiction or numbing behaviours

   •   Fear of failure or fear of success

   •   Constant second-guessing

   •   Difficulty with boundaries

   •   Low self-esteem and shame

It pushes you to shrink — not because you’re weak, but because that was once safer than being seen.

Why the Inner Critic Is Trying to Help (Just Badly)

This is important:

Your inner critic is not your enemy.

It’s a protector, just using outdated and unhelpful methods.

It usually tries to:

   •   Keep you safe

   •   Prevent rejection or embarrassment

   •   Stop you from repeating past pain

   •   Make you “fit in”

   •   Prepare you for the worst

The problem?

It speaks the language of shame, not support.

Fear, not encouragement.

You don’t need to silence it, just learn to lead it.

How to Quiet the Shitty Committee

Here are practical tools you can start using today:

1. Name it

When you call it “The Shitty Committee,” you create distance.

You’re no longer fusing with the voice, you’re observing it.

2. Ask: “Who taught me this?”

Most of the statements come from someone else’s voice from your past.

3. Challenge it with facts

   •   Is this thought true?

   •   Is it helpful?

   •   Is there evidence against it?

4. Use compassionate self-talk

Talk to yourself the way you’d speak to someone you care about.

5. Notice triggers

The inner critic is loudest when you’re tired, stressed, or outside your comfort zone.

6. Ground yourself in the present

A few deep breaths or sensory awareness can calm the nervous system and soften the critic.

7. Build an Inner Coach

Replace:

“You always fail.”

With:

“You’re learning. You’re growing. Keep going.”

8. Talk about it in therapy

Bringing awareness to these patterns in a safe space helps you separate your identity from the voice of past conditioning.

A Final Word

Your inner critic was created during a time when you needed protection, but you’re not that powerless child anymore.

You get to decide:

   •   what voice leads you

   •   what beliefs you keep

   •   what story you live by

The Shitty Committee may always try to speak up…

but you don’t have to give it the microphone.

You deserve a life built on self-respect, not self-criticism.

And it starts with recognising that the loudest voice in your head is rarely the truest one.

Jr Atkins MNCPS