My Blog

Recovery isn’t hard because life suddenly gets worse. Recovery is hard because we stop numbing, and because we enter a period of transition. Change is the decision to stop using. Transition is everything that happens after. For many people in addiction, substances weren’t about chasing pleasure, they were about escaping discomfort. Emotional pain, anxiety, shame, loneliness, boredom, fear. When the substance goes, the feelings don’t disappear. They arrive louder, sharper, and

If you’ve ever found yourself asking, “Why do I always end up here?” , in the same type of relationship, with the same pain, just a different person, you’re not alone. Many people come to therapy feeling confused, frustrated, or ashamed about their relationship choices. They know something isn’t working, but they don’t understand why they keep repeating the same patterns. The answer usually isn’t a lack of insight or willpower. It’s attachment, childhood conditioning, and a n

If you’ve ever gone from calm to overwhelmed in seconds, angry, shut down, anxious, tearful, or numb, you’re not broken. You’re not “too emotional.” And you’re definitely not weak. What you’re experiencing is emotional dysregulation, and it’s far more common than most people realise. In therapy, especially trauma therapy and addiction recovery work, I see how many adults struggle with emotional regulation because they were never taught how to feel, process, or express emotion

Childhood Trauma and Its Impact on Us as Adults (Blog 4) Many people think of childhood trauma as “big” events, violence, neglect, abuse, loss. But trauma is also the experiences that were too much for us at the time, or the things we needed but didn’t get: safety, protection, emotional connection, consistency, or being seen. And the truth is this: Childhood trauma doesn’t stay in childhood. It shows up in our adult lives in ways we often don’t recognise, through our relation

If you’ve ever felt like there’s a voice in your head constantly judging you, criticising you, or telling you you’re not good enough, you’re not alone. In therapy, I often talk about this part of us as “The Shitty Committee”, that inner panel of voices that loves to remind you of your mistakes, your fears, and your insecurities. It doesn’t matter how much progress you make… The Shitty Committee always has something to say. But here’s the truth: This voice isn’t the real you.

# Embracing Boundaries: A Path to Healing and Self-Respect ## Understanding the Importance of Boundaries If you grew up being the strong one, the fixer, the peacekeeper, or the person who kept everything together, boundaries can feel… unnatural. Even threatening. For many people I work with, especially those in recovery or healing from trauma, the idea of saying no brings up fear, guilt, and sometimes even shame. It can feel like you’re letting people down, rejecting someone